Today, I sang as loud as I could! I played some of my favorite worship songs-- and I just belted it out! I had to.....
There are times when you have to hold on to what you know to be true in your heart! You hang on with all that is in you!
Most of you see my work as a photographer-- and I am so grateful for that. I have enjoyed every moment of this new journey and feel so blessed you you check my blog and view my work.
What many of you may not know is that I am a musician. I have been on staff at my church for years as a worship leader. I play guitar and I sing!
And believe me-- there are many times that I sing-- to face life. To deal with it... to fight my battles. I sing at the top of my lungs to the God I love and know and trust!
And today I needed to sing-- to worship and to reaffirm what I believe I have been hearing from God throughout this jouney--- life for Peter.
He came home this morning discouraged. The pet scan he recently took showed that the tumor may have actually spread to the other side of his face.
That type of news is overwhelming...
This past Saturday night-- about 2 in the morning, I felt like I was supposed to read my devotion. I remember thinking-- it's 2 in the morning-- I am beat! But I was curious thinking, "what does God want to say to me?"
So I got up and read it. The one scripture that popped out was from Job..
Chapter 42 verse 12
"The Lord blessed the latter part of Job;s life more that the first."
I have read this before during this season and have felt like this was for Peter.
I have sensed strongly that as he goes through this amazing challenge-- that life on the other side will be like nothing we could have ever imagined.
I have no idea what that means-- but that there is blessing on the other side of this.
I still believe this. And Saturday night-- 2 am in the morning-- this is what I was given... continued a bit of hope... handed to me like a precious gift!
So when I hear news like this morning, the scan results, I sit back for a moment and say...
But God...
You see, I believe He has continued to show me life-- and blessing. It's never changed throughout this entire journey. Even before cancer came into our lives-- I felt prepared to believe. The word was given to me over and over for 2 years.
To believe without seeing. To believe inspite of...
to believe even when it seems crazy.
Peter's radiologist spoke to him later this morning--saying that the scan was probably just showing activity on the other side of his face because of the radiation.
Wow--- that was much nicer to hear. He had a cat scan today and we will know more in a day or so. You never really know a whole lot more---- but that's how it seems to go.
I do believe there is a latter part of Peter's life. And that God will bless it--
I speak this in faith because all I ever get when I ask-- are these types of answers.
Not once have I felt that I was to prepare for the worst. And I have asked.
Not once has the answer been yes--ever.
So I stand tall, I sing loud, I pray hard, and I speak out life! I believe it....and I hold on to it with everything!
I fight--- because I believe God has continued to give me hope!
Hope when I hear about the rainbows you all see. Hope when I get an amazing scripture. Hope when I look up-- and feel the smile of God upon us. Even in this insane time.
He allows adversity--- and gives grace.
He allows pain--- and gives comfort.
He allows challenge-- and gives hope.
All I know is that life will never be the same for Peter, for our family and for those who watch the hand of God sustain and strengthen us in and through this.
I believe because I have to-- it is what has been given to... and required of me....
Will you beLIeVE with me?
If so, please let me know--- it makes me stonger!
love- pati
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