SO SORRY FOR THE LONG READ - I won't do this very often:I’ll never forget when I finished this Christmas card.
One week before my husband was diagnosed with cancer. Aggressive sarcoma—a very serious form of cancer.
I just kept seeing the word “LIFE”on my Christmas card. It HAD to be there—and this was the verse that I felt was supposed to on it!
LIFE----
So… I finish my Christmas card… in October no less. Then cancer came into our lives.
Since my husband’s initial diagnosis, I have fought hard to believe for life! I felt like my Christmas card was really a message. A message for me, for our family—and anyone who would see us walk this out.
After 3 surgeries, and radiation— LIFE was confirmed with a pathology report, “We have clean margins”—which means we have life!
But the scripture that was on my card involved a promise. A promise of not only LIFE—but life more ABUNDANT.
That part always intrigued me. What does that really mean?
Lately, our family has been in a season of tremendous challenge on many levels.
On the outside, my life certainly does not look abundant. We've have had some real challenges.
And to sort of top that off… as of today--- our dog Marley may have cancer.
He had a surgery today to remove a bump on his head. The vet said that it was more than just a cyst. They called it a tumor. And it may be cancer.
WOW---That hurt!!
This journey has been very tough--- I will not lie. And after some tears today, and a big deep breath. I just keep thinking about all the rainbows I have seen lately. They have been everywhere in my life. I have seen at least 4 of them since my birthday. And prior to that, I don't think I'd seen one for years.
In the Bible, a rainbow means “God’s promise” And somehow I have believed that God promised our family not only life, but life more abundant.
So as tough as things have been lately, I have to ask the question, "Is my life really more Abundant?"
Well— believe it or not, I can honesty say YES! Yes it is.
Yes- in the midst of difficulty. What has all this produced? What abundance do I have?
Well, to begin with, I have a greater and deeper love for my husband.. and my children and of course-- our dog too.
A greater love and appreciation for my family and my friendships.
When I sing or play guitar or lead worship at my church--- the music comes from a deeper place than I have ever felt before.
I actually slow down just to enjoy the moment. And I savor moments much more often
because I know how life can change in a moment
When I pray—trust me, I PRAY. And I pray for others more often.
When I look at my children--- I linger, and I really try to SEE them. I see their beauty, their innocence and their amazing eyes that are full of life.
When I listen to them-- I look into their eyes and REALLY try to listen. I want to hear their words—their hearts.
I have been given
a new dream-- a new hope and a new passion to pursue something I have loved for many, many years--- photography. I am deeply inspired to capture as much beauty and life as I possibly can with my camera.
I have a greater desire to give to others—
And I am really beginning to understand that money is simply a tool—and how we use that tool is what really matters. In and of itself, it has no value—it’s value lies in what you do with it… or don’t do with it!
I laugh more…. and I cry more.
I smile and talk to others more than ever--- people at the store, or the bank or wherever. I just love to connect with them, even for a moment.
I can honestly say that I feel totally ALIVE—even in the midst of the struggle and difficulties.
I feel like I'm fighting the good fight-- a fight of faith and hope!
And on top of this I can say that I love Jesus more than I EVER have. That I have a real relationship with Him.. and that I am not ashamed of it.... He is my everything.
So in reality……my life has never been so abundant!
But, what if Marley, my dog has cancer? What if Peter still has it.... somewhere.....?
To be honest...I really don’t know. I can’t live that yet.
I can only walk out today and be grateful for the abundance I DO have.
And know that God did keep His promise…. I have life more abundant! And maybe the rainbows are there to remind me of it!
Dream & Believe--
Pati
P.S.
These are posters I made for a Habitat for Humanity fund-raiser at my church. This is Marley as a puppy.
Too bad no one purchased them. But my girls LOVED hanging the posters in their rooms!
Your prayers for Momo-- would be greatly appreciated! We hope to get the lab results back by Friday.
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